Sunday Audition: Halloween is Not Christmas

The trees are turning colours signalling the end of October again, but that icy chill in the wind isn't just a sign of the coming winter months.  It is an icy cold harbinger of the downfall of modern civilization as we know it.  It is Halloween.

Halloween, the ideological opposite to Christmas.  A time when children around the world are praising Satan instead of Jesus.  Children are dressing themselves as demons and monsters and witches, revelling in the supernatural instead of looking forward to a visit from a jolly magical elf and his flying reindeer.

This widespread acceptance of evil creatures of darkness is manifesting itself even beyond the bounds of the most Satanic night of the year.  For example, World of Warcraft - a game played by over ten million people, allows the player to be a demon summoning Warlock or to join the ranks of the Undead.  The television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer started off with a plucky heroine fighting the forces of darkness, but as the series progressed she took into her close knit circle vampires, witches, werewolves and demons.  Judging them by their false actions and not by their evil natures as defined by the race they were born into.  Worse, the easy acceptance of manifest evil has lead to people actually being willing to vote for beastial monsters such as the one occupying the Oval Office.

And it is not mere symbolism that differentiates the holidays.  The one aspect of Halloween that everyone knows is the giving of candy to kids.  Bribing them to enjoy the holiday as opposed to Christmas where there are no bribes for children.  And candy is full of calories.  All that candy encourages the cardinal sin of Gluttony.  Christmas, as a good Christian tradition, shuns Gluttony in all forms.  And the costumes and disguises meant ot conceal the childrens identities.  Unlike Christmas where we spend time with our closest loved ones and never have any reason to conceal our feelings or emotions.

When presented with Darkness and Light, we must choose Light. But Darkness is so easy and so alluring. To create Light, one must Work and Strive and Produce - but Darkness only requires that we shut our eyes to the Truth. And so Darkness claims the weak. We call these weak ones Democrats.

And these weak and Lazy Democrats have the sheer audacity to Fight a War on Christmas. Declaring open hostilities against the Holiest Day of the Year. Oppressing and Lynching all Good Christians who merely wish other a "Merry Christmas" instead of "Seasons Greetings". Most likely in an effort to promote their Unholy Abomination of a holiday - Halloween.

And that is why we should put an end to Halloween.  For it is only the generous and forgiving Christians that have the ability to put a stop to this threat to the most important day of all.  Merry Christmas.


Tiger Suit

So I've been listening to the new KT Tunstall for a while now.  I'm still not entirely sure what I think about it.  It's very familiar, but also very new - at the same time.  I do know that I like it a helluva lot.

For me Eye to the Telescope was pretty damned awesome on the first listening and improved over time.  The two big singles are both amazing songs that rock hard and have killer hooks and were my early favourite tracks - eventually supplanted by Miniature Disasters.  As much as the first album was the "folk" one, it's highlights are mired in rocking baddassery.

Drastic Fantastic didn't grab me as much right away.  There isn't a single from it that's as instant-smash-hit-super-appealing from the first note the way Black Horse and Cherry Tree is - but it grew on my over time.  Especially Hopeless.  Man, that is an awesome song.  A bit ironic that the "pop" album was the one that took me time to fully appreciate.

Tiger Suit is the electronica one.  Sort of.  Anyways, it is still clearly and obviously KT, what with the pop-folk-rockabilly mix.  The writing on the songs is very much in the same vein as before - rife with gripping phrases, both lyrically and musically.how stripped down the singing used yo be.

But this album certainly seems different than the earlier entries.  On the other albums, you could fairly easily imagine all but one or two tracks being performed live by KT and Wee Bastard (the loop pedal).  On Tiger Suit it's pretty much reversed.
The other difference is her voice.  The new songs are, on average, more - at least in the sense of vocals.  The almost breaking sound as she slips between registers - that's become pretty common throughout the album.  And while it sometimes seems like extraneous ornamentation - almost gimmicky - if you listen hard, you can hear the reason.  She's emoting more on these new songs, but not in an overblown way.  And while I like this new range of tone, I do miss how simple and stripped down the singing used to be.

And despite my mixed feelings about what has stayed the same and what has changed - I'd still give Tiger Suit a five out of five.  I've listen to the whole thing in order, one song after the next, at least a dozen times in the past couple of weeks.  And I'm still not tempted to skip any tracks.

Here's my current favourite song on the album:


still no mba

McArdle.  I don't remember where I read this but it's kinda stuck with me - the best thing about McArdle is that a veritable cottage industry has sprung up with the sole purpose of highlighting how utterly terrible she is.
UPDATE:  It was in the comments section of The Hunting of the Snark.  SRSLY, go read Susan of Texas.  Do it now.

When I first started commenting at Teh Mothership, it was because I was moved to chime in on how ignorant and horrible McArdle was.  Because she is all sorts of ignorant and even more sorts horrible.  She was and still is some sort of anti-muse that causes great works to be created for the sole purpose of ridiculing her.

Anyways, I never got around to becoming a dedicated McArdle basher, but I certainly enjoyed reading stuff from folks like the Malignant One and others at FMM. Susan of Texas in particular writes far better than I could ever hope to.  No SRSLY, go read The Hunting of the Snark - it's a much better blog than this one.

Anyways, I consider myself a sort of amateur connoisseur of McArdle smackdowns - and the latest one from Henry Farrell is a classic.  ME-gan's smug "AHA GOTCHA" finger-waggling tut-tutting of an idiot who is way out of their league is the magic ingredientthat makes this takedown so fantastic.  It's not quite Juan Cole-Jonah Goldberg epicness, but pretty close IMO.  Sure it's a really LOOOONNNNGGGGG post, but you really must read the whole thing.  After you're done with The Hunting of the Snark.


Mayor May Not

Municipal elections for LEAFS SUCK are Monday and we're going to have a new Mayor.  That means the current one is retiring since the pattern appears to be that you don't get voted out of office.

Some history - back in '97, LEAFS SUCK was comprised of five cities and one borough were amalgamated into what is now LEAFS SUCK.  There was some pretty serious opposition to the move - in fact a referendum held on the subject came back at over 75% No.  Anyways, at the time the term "Megacity" was being used because amalgamation would take Toronto's population from 2/3 of a million to over 2 million.

The new Megacity got its first Mega Mayor in Mel Lastman, one of those salesmen who makes a name for his local business by acting like a spectacle.  He continued that trend as Mega Mayor and is remembered mostly for the many episodes of embarassment he brought upon LEAFS SUCK.  Anyways, despite being a huge embarassment he was re-elected for a second term and then retired despite the fact that he probably would have won had he run again.

The next guy, our current mayor, is David Miller.  He's a leftsist enviro Harvard graduate elite hippie intellectual &c. who bikes to work.  He's finishing out his second term and, despite the fact that he would have easily been re-elected, is retiring.

To be fair, apparently the job of Mayor of LEAFS SUCK sucks almost as much as the Leafs do - so running for re-election even once has got to be a major sacrifice.  Our local government is council-strong, executive-weak as just about everything needs council approval.  Gotta be frustrating as the Mayor of LEAFS SUCK has the largest direct mandate in Canada (we have parliamentary governments at the higher levels).

Right now the front-runner is Rob Ford, who was viewed as a joke when he entered the campaign.  At the time he was most famous for holding his council office expenses to zero.  As you've probably already guessed, he's a small government guy running on the magical power of tax cuts.

The opposition consists of Miller's deputy mayor - Joe Pantalone, and George Smitherman who's transitioning down from the Provinical government.  While our municipal elections are party-free, the current crop is basically a Conservative, a Liberal and a New Democrat.

I think the most important lesson learned from this campaign is that "running as an incumbent" is the stupidest fucking advice anyone can give a politician.  Sure incumbents get re-elected a lot, but if you aren't actually the incumbent, it's not going to help you out at all.  Smitherman started this thing with nearly majority support in a field of eight-ish.  He "ran as an incumbent" since he had incumbent-level support in the polls as well as backing from Ontario's Liberal Party Machine. And now he is now trailing.  In fact, a couple weeks ago Rob Ford was out-polling him two to one.  Joe Pantalone, who is the closest thing to maintaining continuity through the mayor's office, has never polled higher than undecided.

I know it goes against all the conventional wisdom of politics, but you have to take positions on things - and do so early on.  This goes even if you take the wrong position because flip-flopping is less damaging than being a total unknown quantity.  Sack up and stand for something, you can always act like a coward and do a one eighty later on.

The other lesson learned is that "Strategic Voting" is basically the entire bag of tricks for the Liberal party.  The only time Smitherman's numbers improved was when Ford opened up a huge lead and the fear of a conservative right-wing hack getting in siphoned support from anyone left of centre.  Ah, Canadian politics.


Video Game Boss Guide

So 1up dropped Scott Sharkey, easily the most interesting personality they had on staff.  He's the guy responsible for the Whiteboard animations - notably that one about monsters that everybody loved so much.  Well anyways, he's got a new Whiteboard up - the first of the post 1up era.

Oh and if you (Sharkey) are reading this - re: new name,
If you want to keep the connection with the older ones you did then you've already got plenty of suggestions with White or Whiteboard attached.  Most of the suggestions seem to be of that sort.  If you're looking to do something new and different than allow me to throw out some ideas.
That's Gonna Leave A Mark
Dry Erase Blues
Tabula Erasa (LOL Garriott!)
Sharkey's Magnificent Extravaganza of Sketches, Commentary and Mind Blowingly Awesome Group Sex*
*Group Sex not available in all audience locales.


Poe or Not Poe - Libertarian Edition

I don't check up on ScienceBlogs regularly so "Poe or not Poe" is new to me and I LOLed when I first saw it at teh Mothership.  Now that the Tea Party has helped blur the lines between fringe RaptureReady™ GodBotherers and fringe RandianUbermann weirdos - I wonder if there's a Poe's Law for small government conservativism.

flagged Steve Benen at Wash Monthly, The Dumbest Libertarian Quote EVAR!!1!one!BlockquotesIsTheft!
"The family should be left to resolve it on their own," Biondolillo said. "Or private enterprise - private companies can contact the family and say, 'We heard you were hitting your kids. Can you stop that?' "


I Don't Think It's Going To Catch On.

In mighty jungle
The Predator stalks his prey



I was going to post a neüphemism from last night's dabbling of witches, but then I found out that this is going to be Post 100.  After missing the anniversary, I figure I ought to do something to mark this momentous occasion.  How about some random indy Canuckistani music?

We'll start with something French, so you'll know it's really Canoodle-ite and then just roll on from there.

Oh and BTW, LEAFS SUCK's municipal elections are in less than two weeks and things are looking pretty grim, notably on the transit front.  So in order to pay respects to the LEAFS SUCK Transit Commission, here's an old classic.


That's So Gay, Totes Heterosexually Of Course.

So just a few days ago, there was this discussion at teh Mothership about using "gay" as an insult.  Joe Max mentioned this Wanda Sykes ad which totally defines the issue (except for the fact that the chef in question was totes gay, as in faggy faggy fag gay).

Later, I checked out some vids on the It Gets Better Project.  I'm not going to lie to you, so I won't say that I wasn't on the verge of tears watching some of those vids.

See the thing about privilege, about entitlement, is that you are unaware of the advantages - that you take for granted your position of not being discriminated against.

Speaking of Dan Savage, this is reminiscent of the time he had to stop making fun of Trig.  Leotarded.  That was the word he switched to.  For a guy who is normally adept at the words and their usingness in sentences - for meaning conveyability maximization - leotarded is pretty weak shit.

Anyways, what I'm getting to is that, yeah - I| use "gay" as an insult.  And so do a lot of others.  And gay people have way more on their plates to deal with than the frivilous use of "gay" to mean dumb or stupid or wevs.  But just because that's the way things are, doesn't mean that it's the way things ought to be.

So I am going to make the effort to stop calling things gay - except if those things actually are gay.  Gay as in homosexual or as in stereotypically campy homosexual (like the chef from the Sykes ad).

On a related note - I'm not going to use the word "cocksucker" as an insult.  SRSLY, this world needs more cocksuckers.  If more cocks got sucked, there'd probably be a whole lot less unhappiness.

I think you can guess where I stand on "motherfucker".  This one's easier since "motherfucker" has become much less an insult since it got so intimately associated with the adjective "badass".

I'm going to stop now because I don't want to talk myself out of the other half of my entire vocabulary.


Peering Into the Krystal Ball

If I could have any one thing this upcoming midterm election - it would be the election of Krystal Ball. Yes, her name is Krystal Ball - blame her dad Ed, fucking physicists and their obsessive fixations on regularly ordered lattice structures. And yes, her politics and mine don't exactly line up - she's a card carrying NRA member and I'm not particularly enthusiastic about businesspeople/entrepeneurs that decide to take up politics.

BUT, there are now some racy photos of her from a costume party floating around the interweebs. And my endorsement isn't due to the fact that she's hawt in that bored housewife playing at being naughty but not really understanding the explosively charged realm of hedonistic debauchery she's getting into kinda way (PS tell your mom I said Hi!). It's because of her response to having photos of her playing with a dildo released to the weebs.
I have a message for any young woman who is thinking about running for office and has ever attended a costume party with her husband or done anything stupid on camera. Run for office. Fight for this country. Don’t let this sort of tactic deter you. Of course, I am embarrassed by these photos,that was the whole point of these political operatives when they put them up. But more than just embarrassed, I’m angry! I’m angry that when we are suffering from high unemployment, record budget deficits and a broken education system, that crass political operatives will resort to the politics of personal destruction when they can’t talk about the issues.
w00t! That's even hotta than that pic with you and the sexy nurse tongueing the silver pocket vibrator.

UPDATE:  MB has pointed out that I'm treating this blog like it's delivered by truck as opposed to a series of tubes.  Text-only on a post like this?  Whooops.  Anyways (from the Gawker link above), this is Krystal Ball:


Teh Obion County Fire

So anyways, teh Obion County Fire. I'm sure we all know the story: Guy doesn't pay his $75 annual subscription fee, his house catches fire, the Fire Department lets it burn. Libertarians and right-wing nutjobs continue to display there utter lack of humanity by saying it was teh right thing to do [no link, I'm sure you can find plenty on your own].
Anyways, I made my position on it pretty clear at the Mothership.

As it turns out, it's been a pretty bad week for "compassionate" conservatism, with the Tea Party coming out against animal cruelty. This is related because as it happens, there were three dogs and a cat in that Obion County house.

I guess in Right Wing World, the horrifically cruel deaths of house pets is a small price to pay to keep them Cranicks from spongeing off their neighbours. Or rather, in the light of the Cranick's offer to pay whatever cost there was - what was really saved was an opportunity to be smugly judgemental and condescending towards a family just after they've lost everything.


Neüphemism: Christine O'Donnell Loves Meatballs

What more to say? The girl denied herself spiritual enlightenment because she loves to to have meat in her mouth.

UPDATE: Apparently Christine O'Donnell isn't just calling from inside the house, she's calling from inside your self. But wait - if Christine O'Donnell is "you" and you aren't allowed to have sex with yourself - did she just flush her Rich Lowry Starburst vote down teh toilet?


Sunday Audition: O Say Can You CNN

Rick Sanchez is no longer with CNN. This a mere one day after implying that The Jews Control All Media. Clearly this is a case of anti-semitism - but not by Rick Sanchez. This is yet another example of the anti-semitism of CNN.

CNN clearly has a history of being totally fine with racist bigots on staff, so why was did this cause Sanchez to lose his job? Well, it's all a plot by CNN. After all, what better way to spread the idea that The Jews Control All Media than by immediately firing someone who dared to say so on camera.

In fact, it would not be surprising to find that CNN, as part of their jihadist plans, arranged the whole charade with Sanchez well in advance - and that Rick Sanchez is living it large on his extremely generous "severance package".

Furthermore, this is all part of a greater conspiracy to scare the entire world into keeping quiet about Jon Stewart. That is how this all started - with Sanchez making the clear and obvious observation that Jon Stewart is a bigot.

So beware all you television commentators - criticize Jon Stewart at your own peril. He has an army of anti-semitic network executives ready to have you fired.

P.S. - Speaking of CNN, and since even Big Breitbart won't do it, let me say a few words in James O'Keefe's defense - Abbie Boudreau is pretty frickin' hot.